Breathe

My second week in Argentina is almost done! This week went by WAY fast. Sometimes, though, I feel like with every struggle, that I've been here for so much longer. I noticed yesterday morning that since my arrival, I'd been waking up just about every morning with anxiety. For what, I don't know. Most days, all I have to do is go to Spanish class for 2 hours. I think it just has to do with me adjusting to the city, not knowing a lot about the city (i.e. transportation and locations), having some troubles with the language, anticipation for my internship, and even greater a reason, not knowing what the future holds.

Finally, yesterday I just had to stop my self and say, "Bianca, you're being rediculous. There's no reason why you need to be scared or anxious for anything. God's got you." So, I said a prayer, did some Bible study, worked out, and got ready for the day. I have to just keep reminding myself that everything's going to be ok. I'm going to look back on this trip and wonder why was I a trip?

I now declare, I, Bianca Aaron, will enjoy my time here in Buenos Aires, Argentina, be grateful for every moment, and make the most out of every new and, perhaps at times even monotonous experience. I refuse to let fear and anxiety run my life and rob me of my joy. For God has not given me a spirit of fear, but one of power and of love and of a sound mind (2 Timothy 1:7)!

There. Now I can live.

Things looking up...

So... I forgot to post this a long time ago. MY BAD!

January 20, 2011

Good news... Today is the first full day we've had our Internet and TV in our apartment. Turns out, the problem wasn't with the actual WiFi antenna nor the television. The power serge was out. Praise God, 'cause I definitely didn't want to pay for a new, well, EVERYTHING.

The new day brought new... adventures. (Apparently, when things go wrong or there are inconveniences or more problems, my fellow travelers call it an "adventure." I wouldn't mind using that...)

The first "adventure" of the day happened on our way to class. Everyday this week, all of us (meaning all of us Mizzou students on the trip) have been taking the city buses to get to class. Anna and I usually walk a long ways to catch the bus with some of the others, so this time, we decided to take a chance and learn a different bus route to class from a stop much closer to our apartment.

One thing about Argentine transportation is if you don't know what you're doing, you REALLY don't know. It can be quite confusing even without the language barrier, but with that piled on... oh, mama.

So, we ended up catching the right bus (well, the number anyway), but on the wrong side of the road. This meant, we were going the complete OPPOSITE direction of the school. Great. Too bad we didn't figure this out until we were about 20-25 minutes into the route. We ended up arriving to class a half an hour late. I'd normally stress out about that, but for some reason, I wasn't.

That's one thing I've noticed since being here. It's almost as if as soon as I arrived here, small problems don't bother me. Even some big one's. With all the things that have gone wrong this week, I've been pretty chill about it. I don't know, but maybe I'm just in the Latin mindset.... tranquilo... ("relax"). It's a cultural thing (mainly outside the States, where people are high-strung on time restraints and whatnot), to just go with the flow. It's a good thing too, because our professor just laughed at us jokingly. He's much more gracious and understanding than some other professors I've had in the past.

I'm usually a Type A person, so it will be interesting to see how living in this Type B world will be...

Muchos problemas, pero todo estará bien :)

Today is only my fourth day in Buenos Aires, and I feel as if I’ve already been here for a really long time. I try to take it a day at a time, but I keep finding myself counting down the days until I get back home. I didn’t think I’d miss home this much. I didn’t think I’d miss America this much! The language barrier is much harder than I expected and I find myself confused often. I feel so clueless and incompetent when I try talking to locals. It’s almost paralyzing. So much has happened just within the last couple of days, much of which has been not so great.

Yesterday morning it was raining, but not too hard. After working out I felt really hot, so I thought I’d open the window for a while to let some of the cool air in. At that point, it was just a drizzle. About 20 minutes later, I heard Anna’s panicking voice saying the television cables and the WiFi antenna were wet, which meant neither the television nor the WiFi would work.

I didn’t even really think about the rain picking up or the fact that our cables were by the window. I made sure to stay calm and not look at it too much as a tragedy. I kept reassuring her that everything would be alright and that it would get fixed. I don’t think it helped too much at that moment, nor did it later that night when it still didn’t work. We spoke with Roberto, our “fix-it” man. However, I don’t know if it was the language barrier or what, but he couldn’t help us. Perhaps Roberto sees the situation as somewhat of a comedy, especially since the previous days’ episode.

Just the day before, we had trouble with getting our door open. In other words, we were LOCKED IN OUR OWN APARTMENT. Personally, I thought the whole thing was funny, but I restrained my laughter when I saw how upset Anna was about it. Turns out, Anna was turning the locks the wrong way. We all had a big laugh when we finally figured it out.

So, I think Roberto may look at us as kind of these silly, clueless, American girls. It’s okay, though. For some reason, I get the feeling that we’ll get to know Roberto very well in the next few months…

We still haven’t gotten our Internet fixed. So until then, I’ll either have to go other places, or pick up some weak one from the window.

You think I look like a what?

When I first signed up to study and live abroad in Buenos Aires, I didn't know what to expect, but I had nothing but positive expectations. This would be my first adventure for this long outside the country. I did go to Guangzhou, China for a few weeks, but I just knew this trip to Latin America would be different on so many levels.

As the time to depart the wintery white blanketed grounds of Minnesota for the sun-studded soils of BA, I began to feel overwhelmed with anxiety. It started to sink in: I'M GOING TO A FOREIGN LAND. So many things crossed my mind, like how am I going to survive??? Food? Money? Transportation? Oh, yeah, and a little thing called LANGUAGE. Now, I DO know Spanish. I've been studying if for nearly seven years now. But this is different. I'm going to be completely out of my element. I honestly hardly know how to live on my own in small town Columbia, Missouri. Now I'll be in one of the biggest cities in the world where pretty much everyone speaks Spanish. And not just any kind of Spanish-- Spanish with an Italian accent. My heart fluttered under the weight of these thoughts. But after talking and praying with a great friend, I put things into perspective, I tried to follow what I'd learned in Sunday school many years ago, and cast my cares on the Lord. That got me through to my flight arrival to Houston, Texas.

It wasn't until I was waiting to board the flight to Argentina, sitting there in the passenger-flooded terminal, that I realized something I knew, but blocked out of my mine: unlike most Latin American countries, Argentina doesn't have a large population of Black people. Crap. I started to wonder: How are the people of BA going to receive me? A Black American woman from Mid-West USA, who's deeply rooted in her culture and Protestant faith. "Well, there's now turning back now," I thought. "I'll just see when I get there."

The day we arrived, my roommate, Anna, and I decided to take a look around the neighborhood after getting settled in. We found a grocery store (un supermercardo) to pick up a few things. On our short travel, we couldn't help, but notice that people (specifically men) kept staring at us. I had one guy stare me down until he passed me up. At first, I thought maybe they just don't see Black people everyday (the same thing happened in China). But then Anna mentioned she noticed it and thought it was just because people could tell we were Americans. Who knows?

I was still curious about the whole staring thing that night, so I did the "credible" thing and searched on Google. I came across a couple of blogs, both of which indicated negative perspectives of Black women in Argentina. One of them said many people in Argentina assume black women to be Brazilian, and not just that, Brazilian PROSTITUTES. That definitely doesn’t fit my description. And it doesn’t help that I have braids at the moment, perhaps making me look even more Brazilian. I mean, don’t get me wrong. I have absolutely nothing against the beautiful people of Brazil. What I do have a problem with is people making generalizations and then acting upon them. Then I thought back to my flight here.

I sat next to an older Argentinian man. He was very nice and helped me practice my Spanish. As the hours drew on, things became a bit awkward, though. At one point, he tried to lay his head on my shoulder while he was "sleeping." I'm pretty sure he was at least somewhat conscious, though. I could see him glance at me from the corner of my eye before making the move. (Yes, I'm nosey.) Another time, toward the end of the flight, I made a move to look out the window and saw him staring up at me from his resting position. I don't know if I just caught him at an awkward moment in between sleeping and waking up, but it was a bit strange. He was really nice and helpful, but I couldn't help but think about such episodes when reading the blogs. Perhaps I'm over-thinking it. Maybe he was just a nice, welcoming, Argentinian man looking to show kindness to a sista from up north.

In contrast to the blogs, I know several Black women who came to live in Buenos Aires as well, and they gave me positive feedback. So, it’s important that I give everyone the benefit of the doubt. I wouldn’t want to fall into the trap of generalized preconceptions. It’s only been a couple of days since I’ve been here, so I’ll have plenty of time to observe over the next three or so months.